Fish Sticks
by Brinda Takashuno
Summary: This is what happens when you let me watch "South Park." Canada created the funniest joke ever! Except Sealand the "grown up" Sealand. Don't worry doesn't understand, and sets out to find the creator of the joke to kill him! Rating changed to M ANYWAY! So many innuendos... Still, BE VERY AFRAID.
1. Chapter 1

Himayura Hidekaz owns Hetalia. Matt Stone and Trey Parker owns South Park.

So, basically, I was watching "South Park," when this came up in my head... Be very afraid.  
APHAPHAPH America went into Canada's house, uninvited, and kind of suddenly. "Hey, Mattie. What are you up to?" He closed the door with his foot and sat on the couch, while munching on potato chips.

"Hey, Al. I was just trying to write some new jokes for my comedy routine."

"Comedy?" Since when were you telling jokes?"

"Forever. You just didn't pay any attention... No body did..."

"Who are you?" Canada's little, white bear asked.

"I'm Canada..."

"Well, d'you wanna do something? I'm bored, and Tonny doesn't want to do anything."

"Sorry, but I really need to work. I haven't written a good joke in over a week."

"Since when were you into writing jokes for the public?!"

Canada sighed. "Well, I was hoping that telling funny jokes would make me more noticable."

"Well, maybe I can help you."

"I normally work alone..." 'But, I suppose that, if Alfred is involved, I would be noticed...' "Well, alright. I guess I can try working with someone else, for once. I've been working on one- "why does a squirrel always swim on it's back? To keep his nuts dry."

"No, that's not funny. Try something funny."

"Um... Well, a fireman and a Polack are-"

"No. If we do a religious joke, people would freak out."

"Ah, right..." Canada crumbled the sheet of paper up in a ball and tossed it over his shoulder.

Hours later, and there's more crumbled up sheets of paper on the floor.

"...So the pope-"

"Did you forgot what I said about religious jokes?"

"Oh, right..." That sheet of paper joined the others on the floor. He was about to give up.

He stood up and sighed. "I'm going to get something to snack on."

"'Sounds good..." Alfred tipped the potato chip bag that he had earlier. A few crumbs fell onto his chest. He sighed and looked towards the desk Canada was sitting behind. "Holy shit, a black widow!"

A little, black spider was walking across the table. Kumajirou smacked it with a rolled up newspaper that he magically got BY THE POWER OF THE AUTHOR, thus, killing it.

"K-Kumajirou! You might have saved my life!" Canada walked in with a plate of fruit.

"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked.

"I'm Canada..." Canada set down the plate of fruit and sat down on his desk again.

"No offense, Matt, but if I'm trying to be creative, I can't be eating fruit. Don't you have something GOOD to eat?"

Canada sighed. "There might be some fishsticks in the freezer, if like fishsticks..." It suddenly hit Canada. "Wait a second, do you like fishsticks?"

"Yeah, they're okay. I really do prefer fish from..."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. So, you like putting fishsticks in your mouth, is what you're saying..."

"Basically. That's how you eat, right?"

"So... What does that make you, a gay fish?"

"What? What are you..." America took a second to think about it. "Oh my God, now I get it! Fish-dicks! That's funny at fuck, dude! We have to tell everyone that joke!" 


	2. Chapter 2

Himayura Hidekaz owns Hetalia. Matt Stone and Trey Parker owns South Park.

So, basically, I was watching "South Park," when this came up in my head... Be very afraid.

"What 'zeh boob?!"  
"Why does everybody blame me?!"  
APHAPHAPH Both America and Canada were outside, looking for someone they know to tell their new founded joke to. "There's Prussia! Hey, Prussia!" America started waving at the albino man.

"Hey, it's bridie's brother, and birdie!" Prussia told his pet bird, Gilbird. He waved back at America.

"Hey, Prussia, bro. Do you like fish'dicks?"

Prussia shrugged. "Yeah, they're okay."

"So you're saying that you like pushing fish'dicks into your mouth?"

"I guess..."

"What are you, a gay fish?!" America started laughing. It took Prussia a second to understand.

"Kesese~! That's funny. Did you come up with that, birdie?" He looked behind America to see Canada.

"Yeah-"

"Actually, we came up with the joke together. Oh hey, there's Germany! Germany!" America started running towards the tall, blond man.

"What is Germany doing in Canada?" Canada asked.

"He's visiting me, and your nation. Why, do you not want him here?"

"N-No, it's not like that! I was just wondering... It just seems kind of... Convenient."

"It does seem a little... Well, convenient, like you said."

"Hey, Germany! Do you like fish'dicks?" America asked in a scream.

"W-Was?"* Germany asked, confused.

"Do you like fish'dicks?" Prussia chuckled, making America "shush" him.

"I don't mind fishsticks. Why?"

"'You like putting fish'dicks into your mouth?"

"Where else would I put them?"

"What are you, a gay fish?" America and Prussia both laughed at the same time.

"Oh, there's France! Hey, France!"

"Are they seriously going to ask France, out of all people? Aren't they afraid of the answer?" Germany asked Canada, before looking around. "Huh? I swear, that nation with the bear was standing right here..."

"That's because I am here..." Canada said, in a whisper.

In Spain, BY THE POWER OF THE AUTHOR, WHO IS ME!

France barged into Spain's house. "Hey, Spain!"

"Don't just barge in here, bastard!" Romano yelled.

"Hola,* France."

"Don't just greet him!"

"Do you like fish'dicks?" France asked, in his French accent. (I'm just that goooood. BD)

"No." Romano answered right away.

"Yeah, they're alright. Why?"

"What are you, mon cher?* A gay fish?"

At The Kiku Honda Show, because THAT would be adorable!

"Here he is! Kiku Honda!" The random announcer announced.

"I just have one question for all of you in the audience- do you like fish'dicks?"

Most of the audience said- "Yes," but in Japanese... Because they're in Japan. (I JUST BLEW YOUR MIND!)

"Wow, I didn't know so many gay fish watched my show." The audience cheered in laughter.

At the Lithuania Show, because... I'm not sure why!

"S-So, Russia... D... Do you like fish'dicks?" Lithuania was praying that the Russian would get the joke, and not kill him.

"Da,* I love them!"

"D-Does that m-make you a.. A gay fish?!"

He shielded himself with his arms, but Russia just laughed, along with the audience. He calmed down and chuckled nervously with him, before Belarus popped up from behind Russia's back with a knife in her hand. The audience, and Russia, screamed, but Lithuania stayed where he was.

"Oh, hi, Belarus~!"

The screen turned bright blue, with the white text saying "BE BACK SHORTLY."

The Last Night Show, with China... I am running out of ideas.

"So, apparently more and more people of the world has been eating fishsticks lately... What is everybody, a gay fish?"

The studio audience roars with laughter, and the two other men on stage got out of their chair to vomit on the floor. (I'm changing the rating. Don't worry.)

The Like, Totes Talk Show With Poland, But Without An Audience.

"It's like, the funniest joke ever now, but nobody knows where it came from. The fishsticks joke has been spreaded across the world, and has been slowly uniting our, well, world. In fact, only one person doesn't get it, and he calls himself "Sealand."

"Hey! I'm a nation, just like you! But I am NOT a gay fish! I happen to know a few gay fish, but I'm not one of them!"

"You like, really don't get it, do ya', kid?"

"Hey, I'm smart! And I'm a very talented nation, but I would know if I was a fish, or even gay, for that matter!"

Latvia grabbed his shoulder. "B-But, Sealand, what about us?"

"Shush, you're not helping!" Sealand whispered to the other nation.

"Poor kid even thinks that he's a nation."

"I am a nation!"

"Right... And you love fishsticks?"

"Yes..."

"You're totally a gay fish."

"NO! I am not a gay fish!"

"Are you implying that you're just gay, then?"

"No, I'm not gay!"

"What?!" Latvia screamed.

"I'm bi-sexual, okay?" Sealand told Lativa in between his teeth.

"Are you a male?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?"

"And you like fish'dicks, right?"

"Yeah, I like fishsticks."

"You like to like, put fish'dicks in your mouth?"

"Yeah."

"That makes you a gay fish."

"That does it!" Sealand tried going after the camera guy, but Latvia was barely holding him back. "I am going to kick your bloody ass! Stupid wanker!"

"PLEASE STAND BY"  
APHAPHAPH I'm actually more proud of this one, than I was of the last one... Sort of. Also, sugar high.

(German) "Was" - "What"  
(Spanish) "Hola" - "Hello"  
(French) "Mon cher" - "My dear" (Masculine)  
(Russian... Kind of) "Da" - "Yes" 


	3. Chapter 3

Himayura Hidekaz owns Hetalia. Matt Stone and Trey Parker owns South Park.

So, basically, I was watching "South Park," when this came up in my head... Be very afraid.  
APHAPHAPH "And then it was on the Lithuania and the Poland show! Dude, that's OUR joke they're using world wide!"

England sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We know, America..."

"Hey, Canada, I've been thinking... We should get patent from our joke!"

"Patent?" Canada repeated.

"Yeah, there's a lot of people using OUR joke for other's amusement! We should get some credit or something for that!"

"Well, that's not really how jokes work..."

"Fuck that! I don't work for nothing! I'm gonna go out there and tell people who were the ones who wrote that joke!" America huffed and ran away while laughing. Oh yes, he did.

"Canada..." England spoke up again. "What part did he, exactly, write?"

"Well, uh... Actually... He didn't exactly..."

"Let me guess- You wrote that joke, while America was lying on your couch, eating caramel popcorn?"

"Actually... It was potato chips..."

"I knew it..." England sighed. "Don't let that fat-ass walk over you again. Stand up for yourself."

"Everytime I try doing that, people mistakes me for America..."

"Well, just give him half so he will shut up." Belarus suggested.

"What?!" England snapped. Canada stared at Belarus.

"...What?"

"Weren't you JUST on the Lithuania show last night?!" Belarus shrugged.

"Russia payed for a ticket back to America. He's so nice! I wish that I could show him just how much I love him!"

'Right... He was probably trying to get her away...'

"Either way, Belarus, if Canada wrote that joke by himself, then America really shouldn't get any of the credit."

Belarus scoffed. "Like Hell is that ever going to happen!"

"Canada, if America didn't write the joke, then just don't sign any papers with him! Just tell him that he didn't do anything but sit on his fat ass!"

"I really think that you should just give him half of the credit... For your sake."  
aphaphaph Sealand speads to a group of reporters at a conference somewhere in England... Because England is obviously bigger. *No penis joke intended, seriously.*

"There's a lot of dumb people out there saying that I'm a gay fish. I am not a fish. Fish has gills. Nurse?"

A random girl who was dressed in a skimpy blue nurses outfit skipped into the room. "Yes, Sealand~?"

"Do I have gills, Nurse NekoKawaiiSeaLat4Eva?"

"Mmmm nope! Just a cute, little, normal neck for a cute, little Latvia to nibble on~!"

"See that, camera men? I am not a fish, and I have female nurses coming over to me whenever I need one, so I'm not gay!"

"Yes you are! You're gay for Latvia" The fangirl insisted.

"I'm not gay. I'm bi-sex-u-al!" Sealand corrected in a "whisper."

"Do you like fishsticks?" One reporter asked.

"I love them."

"You are a gay fish, then." A second reporter started laughing, and soon, everyone around them, besides the fangirl, and Sealand, were laughing.

"NO, I am not- ARGH!" He growled in frustration. This time, the fangirl had to hold him back.

LATER, AT THE, LIKE, POLAND SHOW (I can't remember which one was which, but I like the, like, Poland show.)-

"Alright, like, recently, we've all come to know the fishstick joke as, like, the funniest joke ever, but we didn't know who came up with it. Well, until now. Joining us tonight is totally the creator of the fishsticks joke. Korea~!"

Korea waved at the camera man, before taking a seat.

"So, you created this totally awesome joke? How did you do it?"

"Well, I actually created that joke waaaaay before China was even born!"

IN CHINA-

"What?!" China screamed at his TV.

BACK TO THE, LIKE, POLAND SHOW.

"Unfortunately, nobody understood because fishsticks were created, yet. But, this is a different age, right? So I decided to try it again, and, what do you know, it's a big hit!"  
aphaphaph "That motherfucking liar!" America cried out in rage.  
APHAPHAPH ...I'm... I'm not trying to offend anyone, or... Or start any shit between nations, okay? Understand? Good. This is purely for entertainment. 


End file.
